![]() Now I rarely go to shows but I still use cocaine. I made lots of friends, and though I never even liked cocaine I started using it more frequently to get through a night when the less addictive substances I enjoyed had worn off and fatigue started to set in. It is quite the opposite - come one, come all and despite the disparity and turmoil out there we are equals on the dance floor. The message is not political or divisive. Unlike punks, we don't exchange blows at our gatherings, just happy smiles and friendly greetings. People were mature, respectful, and just freaking loved the music so much. I had no idea that this vibrant scene existed, and I loved it. I wonder if I wouldn't have become a cocaine addict if I hadn't stumbled into an EDM party skeptically, a rock and roll person by upbringing who believed that dance clubs were overly young, drunk, sloppy meat markets with shitty top 40 music. It is unnatural and extremely difficult for most people to do (if they keep a typical day schedule) without a little "help." Those who live and breathe the scene might adapt and become nocturnal the rest of us tempt addiction. In the underground dance scene the main act might not play until 4 a.m., and people stay and keep going until well after the sun comes up. The ritual of going to a show becomes cathartic, an experience you are involved in and not just watching from the audience. However, like the punk scene, serious dance music fans are dedicated to the music and rather than the ennui of indie rock shows where you bob your head and try to look cool, punks and house-heads alike express their appreciation of the music very physically. My experience is with underground dance music, a scene dominated by illegal "parties" where drug use is so transparent that the artists don't even try to cloak their references to it with poetry and metaphors but just give shout-outs to cocaine, ketamine, and ecstasy by name and the crowd goes wild. I pose this question not in regard to punk music specifically. I'm intrigued by the topic you raised about blending alternative lifestyles with modern society, and I guess my question is this: Do subversive scenes where illegal behavior is the norm foster antisocial behaviors, or are those of us with certain personalities drawn to these subcultures because of our innate rebellious tendencies? Sometimes the act of just putting it into words has helped me see my problems more clearly and enabled me to advise myself. I appreciate your column immensely and I have drafted many letters to you over the years which I have never sent - as a sort of self-therapy to verbalize my frustrations. In the days to come, I'd like to write about my first experience of punk music and speculate about why it seemed so powerful and alluring. My notes on it are a little dry, and a little hazy, and quite unscientific, but I am just a writer, not a scientist or philosopher. And there is also recent evidence of music's own curative powers. I just don't know in detail how drugs influence crowds and vice versa, but do think social scientists can provide clues. I thought this letter was very interesting, but in trying to answer the questions it raises, I encountered my own limitations in knowledge and insight. Today, we talk a little about music subcultures, drugs and the human soul. ![]()
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